In recent months Tif has said a few times how weird it is that I’ve been the one stressing out. While in reality we’ve both had our fair share of stress, I have been unusually stressed. Really, I just feel helplessly overwhelmed at times. I’ve been working to figure out why and restore my usual calm and peace. Thinking through this today, one issue in particular came to mind.
Parenting requires us to divorce ourselves from a lot of our own desires. It is impossible to be selfish and a good parent. It takes time to let go of things and I still find myself wishing I was more often able to play guitar, read a book, or just have a moment of peace. This season of my life, however, is about moving my family to the forefront and placing those desires in second place. One day they will be bigger, and going to school. I can then play my guitar more to help me through the desperation of watching my children grow up faster then I’d like:)
I love my girls to death and the majority of the time parenting is filled with an incomparable joy, but there are also times where it is hard to let go of selfish desires for my time, and that leads me to stress out. Each day is new and God helps through each and every one. I’m praying I will be a strong and engaging parent while God helps me learn and grow along the way.